no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
