Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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