i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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