You can't special order awesome
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
