I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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