We're facebook friends in real life
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
