4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
