shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
