hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
