i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
