I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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