he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
