If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
