he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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