Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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