I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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