I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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