My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
