i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
