$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You are the jesus of drinking
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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