I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
