Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
