Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
