he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I would ride that face into the sunset
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
