There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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