I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
