don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Farmville is her only friend.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
