How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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