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Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
