Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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