Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
