Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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