she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
