Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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