Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
then he tried to convert me to islam
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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