morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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