I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
