ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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