I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
