so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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