So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
