with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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