The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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