I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
