I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
