just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
