Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
