if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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