Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
