im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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