I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
