just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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