very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
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