if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
