i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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