So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
