I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
