fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
