I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
