i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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