i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
