dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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