Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
