Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
